You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
