; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
