If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
