The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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