just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
