Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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