Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize