I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
