I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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