Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize