I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I got inside last night via doggy door
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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