this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
