Me too!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
