i always forget guys have bellybuttons
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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