It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
