also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
