Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
