Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
