Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
