i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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