maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
