So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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