my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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