Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
