Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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