This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
