His pubic hair was longer than his dick
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
