Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
