I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize