all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
