I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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