rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
