I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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