My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize