Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm getting married
To pizza
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
