Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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