New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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