also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
