Where did you get a picture of my penis
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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