Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
