well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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