You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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