oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
