life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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