I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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