its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
