Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The air was thick with penises
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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