ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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