belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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