You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
wow bdsm is so cute
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize