i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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