IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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