I looked at my own cervix.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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