Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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