i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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