Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
