i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
