GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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