I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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